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05. Wheatley is a moron

Lyrics by Gordon Nukem

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Original Soundtrack »Frosty The Snowman«

©Brian Soriano, Walter "Jack" Rollins and Steve Nelson


Wheatley the moron
Is a stupid metal ball
With Chell by his side they came after me
To help her leave was his goal
Wheatley the moron
Is the dumbest core, I say
Just a worthless sphere
But she brought him here
And he stole my throne that day
There must have been no logic
In his microscopic brain
For when she placed him in control
He went foolishly insane
Ugh, Wheatley, the moron
Was as dumb as made to be
It's precisely why
He's even designed
He's the tumor that clung to me

Wheatley the moron
Stuck me in a potato
I fell down a hole
It was a long fall
Then I was seized by a crow
Chell came to find me
With the Portal gun in hand
Portal here and there flying through the air
Saying nothing as she ran
We got through Wheatley's simple tests
Ready for surprise
But it kind of caught us both off guard
The part where she would die
Wheatley the moron
Nearly murdered her that day
Then she saw the moon
She knew what to do
Wheatley was floating away

(Space Core would "sing" the Space lines)
Space-space-space space space
Space-space-space space space
Look at Wheatley fly
Space-space-space space space
Space-space-space space space
Pointless robotic eye